I don’t like keeping secrets. Secrets are fun, but so is the truth. Secrets are hard, but so is the truth. I don’t have many secrets of my own. I’m keeping a few secrets for other people, but I don’t enjoy it. Keeping a secret for someone means at the minimum that you have to remember what you had to keep a secret. This doesn’t include the amount of mental horsepower you’ll have to use to keep that thing a secret in certain environments. Ever found yourself dumbfounded as to what to say next because you’re tip-toeing around a secret? Keeping secrets is a great way to start a miss-communication battle. How many wars, large or small, could’ve been ended with a simple improvement in communication.
When I spend time reflecting over areas in my life where I’ve been in conflict with someone, most of the time it’s a lack of communication. It becomes a battle of egos as to who was/is right. What’s the point in winning an argument? There’s no trophy at the end of it. When you win an argument all that happens is either that you show how strong your ego is or you just beat down on another person so much that they simply give up. I’m not saying there is no point to arguing, everything has a purpose. Next time instead of arguing with someone, try to see their point of view, why are they saying what they’re saying? What could you do to work together to incorporate both of your point of views? Most people want the best for humanity, so if that is truly the goal of both arguing parties, where is the harm in combining both points of view?
I don’t have all the answers to every scenario. What I do know is that pausing for a moment and considering both sides of the story is a powerful step to take. Everyone is just another form of you. Someone had their birthday last week, someone else’s dad may be sick. Again, think about why someone is saying what they’re saying. How can we communicate better?
Sometimes the only reason someone starts an argument or tells you a secret is because all they want is to be heard.
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